| In this week’s parsha of Toldot (Genesis 25:19-28:9), we are told that Rebecca was not able to conceive until Isaac pleaded with God on their behalf (25:10). Rebecca is far from the only woman in Tanakh who has a difficult time getting pregnant. Her mother-in-law Sarah, her daughter-in-law Rachel, and Hannah, the mother of the prophet Samuel, all suffer from not being able to conceive, causing them each great sadness and anguish. However, with God’s help and intervention, they all eventually bear children who will become leading figures in the history of the Jewish people. |
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We are commanded more than once (Genesis 1:28 and 9:7) to “be fruitful and multiply,” but is this contained only to bearing children? |
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Bringing Torah into the modern era means acknowledging that it is not always the case that those who want to have children are able. In addition, there are those who choose not to have children for a variety of very understandable reasons. Surely, this mandate to “be fruitful and multiply” is possible for us all, regardless of whether or not we have children. |
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This topic is close to the heart for me and Rebbetzin Eliza. I obtained her permission to share what I’m about to, and we worked on this part of my sermon together. As many of you know, Eliza has had numerous surgeries since our time being at Beth El, and they have been to treat adenomyosis [1] and endometriosis [2]. These are chronic, painful conditions that cause inflammation that not only make conception difficult and pregnancy tenuous, but also cause considerable and disabling pain in women affected by these illnesses. Endometriosis can also cause lesions that attach to organs throughout a woman’s body and can cause damage to these organs. There is no cure for endometriosis at this time, and the only cure for adenomyosis is a hysterectomy, as this disease is contained in a woman’s uterus. In the course of our journey managing these medical conditions, a few years ago we made the decision together for Eliza to have a hysterectomy to cure her adenomyosis. While we continue to manage endometriosis with Eliza’s specialists, the hysterectomy she received greatly improved her quality of life. In the weeks leading up to that surgery, we engaged in couple’s therapy to discuss the implications on our potential future family. We both were at peace with the decision to not have children, not only for medical but also personal reasons. But, the conversation about what our legacy would be is one that we began fervently in the weeks leading up to that surgery and one we continue to have as our relationship evolves. And, the fact that we had to think about how we would be “fruitful” has been a huge blessing in our lives. |
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| Eliza introduced me to the term “generativity,” coined by the psychoanalyst Erik Erikson [3], and this is how we have been thinking of how we intend to “be fruitful and multiply.” Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines generativity as “having the power or function of generating, originating, producing, or reproducing [4]”. Erikson described generativity as “a concern for establishing and guiding the next generation,” part of a common topic that those of middle adulthood tend to grapple with. Therefore, the topic of generativity applies to us all – what will be our impact? |
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| The famous Lithuanian Rabbi of the 19th and early 20th centuries, Yisrael Meir Kagan (The Chofetz Chaim), told a beautiful story that speaks to this sort of generativity: |
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| There once was a wealthy, childless couple, Moshe and Devorah Leah, who lived in a town that lacked a good Jewish education system. On a certain occasion, Moshe was passing a house of study when he heard a passage from Talmud: “Anyone who teaches another person’s son Torah, the verse ascribes him credit as if he sired him”(*Sanhedrin 19.b.17). This inspired Moshe and Devorah Leah. They gave generously, bringing in some of the best teachers to educate the children. Soon, the town became the envy of Jews within their area. In their will, they ensured that their fortune was left to their relatives, the poor, and the children of the community. For generations following their deaths, visitors would note that a disproportionate number of townsfolk were named Moshe and Devorah Leah. It was the greatest tribute that they could pay to this loving man and woman who had given so fervently to the town [5]. |
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| Without bearing a single child, Moshe and Devorah Leah created an indelible impact on an entire community. This sparks infinite pathways for us to uncover ways we can be generative, whether or not we have children: |
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| -A biochemist discovers a drug that can aid those suffering from diabetes, cancer, or heart disease. |
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| -A gifted heart-surgeon teaches dozens of young doctors his skill and craft, producing a lineage of healers. |
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| -A couple fosters abandoned kittens and puppies and ensures they go to good homes where they will bring their owners years of happiness and joy. |
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| -A teacher mentors hundreds of students throughout her career. This teacher’s students, due to her love, attention, education, lessons, and mentorship, go on to become firefighters, police officers, EMT’s, members of the armed forces, clergy, teachers, doctors, and nurses. |
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| -And, as in the case of Moshe and Devorah Leah, a couple contributes to the enduring well-being of numerous generations through their charity and acts of righteousness, changing a generation for good. |
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This parsha offers us a challenge: let’s think of “be fruitful and multiply” more broadly. While children are indeed amazing blessings, perhaps being generative can mean more than just biologically reproducing. In fact, we may be obliged to consider and stretch ourselves to be as generative as we can, for the glory of God. As Rabbi Ben Azzai taught, “…one mitzvah leads to another mitzvah…since the reward for one mitzvah is another mitzvah…” (*Pirkei Avot 4:2.2). |
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During this Shabbat, we encourage our readers to engage in some life review – how are you already fulfilling the mandate to “be fruitful and multiply” – as well as consider ways to increase your own generativity. Feel free to let us know what comes up and how we can support you in your journey of spiritual growth. |
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| Bivrakha, |
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| Rabbi Aaron and Rebbetzin Eliza |
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| [1] Cleveland Clinic. “Adenomyosis: Symptoms, Causes, Tests and Treatments.” Cleveland Clinic, 30 Jan. 2023, my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/14167-adenomyosis. |
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| [2] ACOG. “Endometriosis.” Www.acog.org, Feb. 2021, www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/endometriosis. |
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| [3] Slater, Charles L. “Generativity versus Stagnation: An Elaboration of Erikson’s Adult Stage of Human Development.” Journal of Adult Development, vol. 10, no. 1, 2003, pp. 53–65, https://doi.org/10.1023/a:1020790820868. |
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| [4] “Generative.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/generative. Accessed 21 Nov. 2025. |
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| [5] Rabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz. Soul of Jewish Social Justice. Urim Publications, 2014, p. 415. |
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| Wirth, Mark. www.instagram.com/p/DC9lW4zPmxF/. |
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| *translations courtesy of Sefaria.org |
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